So, big congratulations Cheryl Cole! Unless you’ve been hiding under a big rock today (Cheryl’s is big enough to hide under actually) or maybe you live in a warm enlightened place where innate showbiz chatter bypasses your life (congratulations) you’ll know that Cheryl’s gone and married her boyfriend Jean-Bernard Fernandez Versini after just THREE MONTHS of knowing each other.
Now the purpose of this blog is not for me to judge if this is a good move or not. I am undecided anyway.
BUT there are a LOT of things that I believe neither of them can possibly know about each other yet. Certain scenarios they probably haven’t faced in the short space of three months. Nasty little habits the other one may be hiding. All things I believe that couples need to go through, and come out the other side still intact.
10 Things you don’t discover or haven’t experienced till AFTER 3 months together, Cheryl
1) Toenails down the back of the sofa / bed. These can be deposited by either party (it’s usually the man)
2) That REALLY annoying noise when they eat, because they’re so comfortable in your company. It’s SO annoying
3) Underwear that could probably get up and walk itself to the washing machine and you suspect may have been worn for more than one day. Either party can be guilty of this (it’s usually the man)
4) Your man probably hasn’t witnessed proper ‘Slob Day’ yet at the Honeymoon 3 month mark. This generally involves a onesie or greying pyjamas, greasy hair, granny knickers and maybe not brushing your teeth all day. What? We’ve all done it …
5) Man Flu – especially if you’ve dated in the summer months, there is little chance you’ve witnessed his full and complete inability to deal with a cold. It’s fairly unattractive
6) Tissues up the nose – related to point No.5 – but more common with Girl Flu. At 3 months it’s unlikely he’s experienced your very real need to sit in front of the telly with a Kleenex shoved up each nostril just to hold it in. What? We’ve all done it ….
7) It’s unlikely either of you has had a ‘headache’ yet. Or just not fancied it. And been honest about it. And p*ssed the other person off
8) Relating to point No.6 – it’s unlikely that either of you has had the embarrassment yet of untimely wind escaping during a moment of passion. It will happen
9) The hangover from hell probably hasn’t occurred before the 3 month mark. I’m talking sick bucket by the bed, hanging over the loo, crying because you’re dying, yelling ‘never again’ for 8 hours and the inability to function for two days
10) Period Pants. Sorry boys. ALL girls have them. They’re old, a bit manky, frayed round the edges and not in the least bit sexy but they’re all we want to wear during that time that makes you a bit uncomfortable even though you’ve known about it since you were 12. Yep, Period Pants don’t really make an appearance in the first 3 months, but they’re very real and WILL appear later on
Disclaimer; all of the above points may or may not have featured in my relationships past or present. They may just be stuff I’ve heard. Yeah right ….