You’re in the dessert. You’ve been walking for hours. You’re tired – so so tired. And thirsty – so damn thirsty.
And there it is, in front of you. Shimmering like a vast trove of beautiful treasure. WATER. All the water you need to quench that insatiable thirst and stave off that nagging tiredness.
Only it’s not real.
It’s a mirage. A trick of the light. A cruel game that the light and your eyes and your mind has played on you. There is no water. You’re still tired and you’re still fucking thirsty.
It’s a bit like being a Mum.
You wake up in the morning (morning being 5am) naively optimistic about the day ahead. Your baby will eat your homemade nutritional breakfast and will then nap without resisting for at least an hour, maybe 90 minutes! Oooh yes, 90 minutes – and you’ll be able to not only get some housework done but your Davina DVD workout too! And maybe even a cup of coffee?! WINNING!
Erm, yep all that you just read above is the ‘mirage of motherhood’.
The more likely scenario is grouchy evil baby (because they think the day starts at 5am) will throw most of your delicious porridge and fruit combo on the floor. The other bits will be smeared around his tiny face, splattered through his hair and mulched into every tiny corner of the high chair.
He will then utterly refuse to nap, despite being so tired his baby eye bags are practically on the floor. After a wasted hour feeding / rocking / shushing / trying to bribe a 6 month old with promises of sweets and pocket money in 5 years time – you’ll be reduced to chucking on your grotty jogging bottoms from the laundry basket, chucking the baby in the pram and heading out into the rain to get the baby to FRIGGING GO TO SLEEP!
But for some insane reason – the mirage continues.
As you walk off your morning stress, whilst carefully pushing the pram with one hand and grappling with a broken umbrella in the other – you positively visualise the afternoon’s activities.
It’s ok – you can see it! Your baby will wake up refreshed and lovely after their pram nap.
They will entertain themselves on their baby gym for half an hour while you manage a shower, to dry your hair, put make up on AND maybe even a cup of coffee?! WINNING!
Ok – I’m not even going to bore you will the reality of what will really happen. Coz you know, don’t you?
You live it- EVERY DAY.
The ‘mirage of motherhood’ continues. It’s how we get through. We keep telling ourselves that today is the day that we will achieve the unattainable. And perhaps even get to shout about it on Instagram too?!
But until that day happens – just keep faking and believing. Believing and faking.
To hell with it – make yourself feel better by Instagramming a picture of the only one single tiny tidy pretty corner of your house. Trust me all the other mums will think ‘how the hell does she do it?!’
It’s all part of the mirage of motherhood.