I just wanted to tell you that you’re doing ok.
I know I don’t really sleep, and if I do it tends to be on your chest.
I know I cry and scream the minute my head touches my cot/basket/pram, and I’m sorry for that.
I know that the past three nights at 3am you’ve googled ‘why won’t my baby sleep in the night’ so I just wanted to explain some things to you.
I like to cuddle you in the night, Mum, because you are warm, you smell lovely and I can feel your heart beat. This reminds me of my favourite time ever, when I was in your tummy.
I loved being in your tummy for all those months. It was warm and safe and snuggly. I felt cosy and I used to drop off to sleep when you walked around and did busy grown up things.
I then used to wake up at night and kick you really hard when you laid down to sleep. Do you remember that? Sometimes you would stroke your belly and say ‘go to sleep baby’ …. See? Nothing has changed Mum. This is called the 4th Trimester.
I don’t really like my cot. No offence. I am grateful that you spent loads of money on it and have tried to make it look all pretty and cosy, and when I am bigger I promise I will sleep in it.
But for now, I don’t really feel very happy or safe in there. I’m still really tiny you see. It’s not warm like your arms or chest, not even when you try to cheat me with a hot water bottle (I saw you get that one off google too).
I also know that you would like me to sleep for a bit longer in the night. I’m trying. But the thing is, I get hungry really quickly. My tummy is only the size of a marble so it needs filling up all the time. And I love my milk so so much.
I know sometimes you get fed up because I’m hurting your nipples, but you see Mum, our milk times are my absolute favourite times. I need to keep asking for more milk in the night because not only am I really hungry again, but I am actually helping to keep our milk supply going. Even if it just seems like I’m being a mini beast again. I promise you, I don’t keep asking for food to pee you off, it’s because I actually need it. You want me to be a big strong boy don’t you?
I am only 4 weeks old Mum. That’s not old at all is it? You’ve had more than 30 years to learn to like sleep Mum (and you’re still a bit scared of the dark). I’m still new to all this.
The last thing I want to say Mum, is that you’re not ‘building a rod for your own back’. (Grown ups say that a lot don’t they?) Just because I like to get into bed for a cuddle at 4am it doesn’t mean I’ll still be doing it when I’m 18 years old. Trust me Mum, I’ll have better places to be.
Oh and I know it’s frustrating that out of all the fancy expensive gadgets you’ve bought to get me off to sleep, the one thing that really works is the hoover going on. I can’t explain it. Just do what works Mum.
You’re doing ok
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